True Adventures of Kaiser Clark

Only in America

2006-12-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

I am returning to Minneapolis and am plotting ways to travel for free! Yes, I have developed a strong case of wonder-lust and am excited to discover what trouble awaits me. Stay posted monthly.

I returned to my state of origin Minnesota and reigned in the New Year with those long-term friends who supported me throughout my journey. I was greeted by snow and frightfully cold nights. Inspired by the words of an 11^th century Tibetan sage Machig Labdronme “Go to the places that scare you”, I decided to organize a camping trip deep into that very frightening cold.

In the northern most regions of Minnesota bordering Canada lie protected wildernesses known as the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness (BWCAW). This wilderness was created by those very same glaciers I was frolicking on last October. The wreckage of this glacial past left us with over 1200 miles of the best flat-water canoeing in the world, a territory comprised of 1.3 million acres of cliffs, crags, hills and several thousand lakes. This land has also been reclaimed by the native Timber Wolf who lurks behind every single tree when darkness falls!

This frozen tradition is now in its third year and our past adventures have taught us:

Sleeping in a tent without a stove really sucks and makes your breath freeze to everything inside

Hiking at midnight in the middle of a blizzard without batteries for your headlamp is fun

Wolves are everywhere

Using a sledge to pull gear can enable you to bring A LOT of stuff!

Rain sucks just as much in January as it does in November

With an ice saw you can go swimming year-round

7. Sledding ain't just for kids anymore!

Our possee included the two usual suspects George Thaler (aka Pie) and myself.

Two additional masters of the bush (masters compared to a 7 year-old girl from Detroit) included an old flatmate of mine Derek Hanson (aka Diamond) and Nils de mol Van Otterlo.

We were very responsible and safe the entire time (he-he)

and enjoyed snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, rock-climbing, camping and yes, swimming!

I got in touch with our dog-sledding flesh biting Sweed LISA STRÖM who is mushing in Ely, MN but she was guiding a trip in a different area of the BWCAW. Miss ya Lisa :-(

Stay tuned for more adventures. Up next… climbing frozen waterfalls.

True Adventures of Kaiser Clark: South Africa

2006-11-24T11:58:00.000-08:00

(Lighting of Table Mountain for the Christmas Holiday, Cape Town South Africa 26/11/2006)

November 16 – 18

Adventures in South Africa

I’m now in Cape Town, South Africa! After being jazzed with such a fantastic film experience and meeting new friends, I knew I could not let it stop when we wrapped. So the first thing that came to mind was seeing a great white shark. The second thing was rugby. Cape Town does both so voala!

I booked passage on Virgin Atlantic (a fantastic airline) and arrived with three friends I met on the plane. On the plane I tried to think what I would like to do if I had a terminal illness. I’ve made my list and am busy crossing things off.

So far I have made my first mountain climb guided by a trustworthy and instructive guide named David Vallet. He was still friendly after waiting an hour for me to show… time change problems on my part.

In any event, it was too windy to take the tram to the top of Table Mountain (it was closed by the forceful south-easterlies) so we walked, climbed, abseiled and did it all over again. Apparently he took us up a us grade 5.5 and 5.8 rockface. Thank you RAVNA for all the tips and encouragement on the rock wall in Norway, it came in handy. I’m hooked!

Next came the sharks. I got up a five in the morning, drove until our bus broke down, finished our journey via another bus, boarded our vessel and skipped off three meter swells where we started chumming the water (chumming is what is done to scent the water with blood and attract out man-eaters). The visibility was poor in the water but we saw five different great white sharks. Yes, I stayed in the cage the entire time when it was my turn, and no I did not poke one in the DOLL’S EYE.

Next on the list is mountain biking, the worlds tallest bungee jump (216 MEETERS!), getting my SCUBA cert. and generating more lists! Much more to come so check frequently.

November 19 – 21

The adventure in South Africa continues!

What is it with Sundays? I awoke without plans and nothing was open, so I had to invent some trouble for myself. I teamed up with another American Headley (from NYC) in search of mountain bikes. Though the beautiful Fatima tried all of her tourism spells to satisfy my adrenaline jones, no biking, bungee nor safari. She did steer me to some fantastic beaches (VERY COLD WATERS) and a public pool equipped with springboards and a 5 meter platform.

I was a hit at the public pool and even managed to land a backward 1 ½ summersault with 1 ½ twists! But since I haven’t dove in years I managed the real crowd favorites, the sharp snapping sound of fish-belly white skin slapping on water. In the belly and back flop division, the crowd awarded me all tens!

Sunday night united new friends for a braai (South African BBQ). The late evening was reserved for rugby match after rugby match. God, what a country, what a sport!

I was due to start SCUBA school on Monday morning but a cute new friend Tanya (a world champion pole climber and all around Aussie adventurer) had other plans for me. Monday Tanya, the best Mountain Guide in South Africa David Vallet (tel. 082.783.9453) and myself tackled table mountain again, except in a much bolder fashion. I climbed rockface I never seriously considered feasible (grade 17 ascensions!).

This guy David pushed me perfectly to the very edge of my comfort level but never beyond it. Strange as it seems, I always felt safe. At one point I found myself on this ledge (where the gods gather to plot foul weather for below) and all I could do was giggle. I knew I had no business being up there and was really pissing off those who cared for my safety, but it was so hysterical! I felt like I just snuck into the principals office and got into his candy drawer. I’ll never look onto mountains the same way again, all I see now are hand-holds masked as rock.

Tuesday was absolutely reserved for SCUBA school since the school postponed class for my Monday climb. But yet again the subversive hand of woman with her enticing ways of influencing the simple male mind changed all plans of schooling. While waiting to pe picked up for SCUBA school, Fatima introduced me to my soon-to-be private tour guide Colleen. Lord, please make me stronger next time.

Before I had anything to say about it, I was in Colleens car with the alto-sax playing brit Alfie, eating meat pies, drinking milk, jamming to Cool and the Gang, driving towards the Indian Ocean and scheming mis-adventures involving motorcycles, bungee and SCUBA. Colleen educated me about all the recent history of the healing South Africa from a local’s perspective and fed my open mind full of hope for our troubled world.

The smiling ivory teeth flashing from deep black faces whisper prayers of hope. It was just the other day when these black and colored Africans were disappearing if they disobeyed the white masters of apartheid. Though not the safest country to travel in by any stretch of the imagination, South Africa places her energy on healing and reconciliation. With 40% of the population unable to generate income, AIDS and illiteracy running rampant, somehow the energy to cultivate a peaceful society is generated and cultivated. I know too little and my power of vocabulary is too insufficient to express what I see and feel here. But I do believe in the triumph of the human spirit. It smiles at me daily in my South Africa, and it welcomes me to play like the child you all know I am. This time I’ll have the photo’s to prove it!

November 22 – 24

I can’t remember when I did more activities that those on the 22^nd November. I awoke early and wondered around Plettenberg Bay greeting sand and smiling black faces with my camera.

The wonderful private tour guide Colleen then shipped me off to Bloukrans Bridge, the largest single span bridge in the world. This is the perfect place to practice idiot tourism! So I made arrangements to bungee jump off it. 216 meters makes the drop the tallest commercially run bungee jump operation. 200 plus meters deserves at least two jumps… one forward and one “reverse elevator” style (jumping backwards with attachments on the waist). Was I scared? Well it did make me giggle.

Next I was rushed to play in the dirt with quad bikes in Knysna. We were only supposed to do the mountain course twice. But since we were going so fast and finished early, Gevin (my guide) suggested we risk a third tour as a sort of time trial. We passed our time trial.

Driving back to town Gevin and the other driver offered to stop anywhere along the way so my lens could record the magnificent scenery. There was no need I explained. I’d been hanging out the back of our truck running my own photo shoot… more smiling black faces!

Next I registered for my SCUBA class in Knysna and collapsed on the ride home. Colleen did a magnificent job… I was finally worn out.

Colleen (a fantastic tour guide and has rooms to let in Plettenberg Bay) +27 721 93635

The 23^rd November began with breakfast with Jo and Colleen where I learned all about growing up black in South Central South Africa. He invited me to explore the village community he lived in three years ago where I was given only a taste of how those without structure and live out their lives.

In the afternoon I studied SCUBA, but to my dismay, the high tides arrive after 6pm, making my SCUBA classes impractical during my short stay. Not all is lost as I can finish my lessons either in Cape Town (Nah) or back in the States.

On the 24^th November I headed back to Cape Town, arriving with some friends I picked up along the way on the City to City bus. South Africa is a big country. Anyhow, it’s fantastic energy, quite the contrast to the southern bays. Cape Town is now exploding as matriculation just hit and the streets are packed with students looking for a night on the piss. It was surprising returning to the Carnival Court backpackers and missing the friends I’d left behind. But it feels like home in a bizarre way as once again I find myself with familiar faces of the staff here and am all but enmeshed with a new pack of wolves. Home is where ever my boots land. Happy Thanksgiving!

November 25 - 27

Saturday 25^th November greeted me without plans. Scared as I was from the last unplanned day (not interested in another bellyflop contest) everything tuned out. I hired a 200 cc motorcycle from Luv Biking (Peter +27 (0) 83 528 0897) and took a self guided tour of Cape of Good Hope. I took a break along the way for photos and the Cape winds blew over my bike on the kick-stand side! Those strong winds claimed my clutch grip and I got excellent road side service. Apparently Luv Biking is well versed in handling tourist ingenuity and mishaps.

The baboons at Cape Point are rumored to be very aggressive but my bafooning must have disguised me as a regular baboon. I could have used a simian grooming! From there I headed back to Cape Town and indulged in motorcycle photography. Upon arrival I was numb from the massage a 200 cc cycle delivers to its rider when driving 120 km/hr.

I met some friends of Bill W then returned for a feast of Warthog ribs, yet another party with my new friends at Carnival Court Backpackers and tips for filling my next day with activity.

Sunday 26^th November broke bright and early. I paid my morning visit to my friends Bradley and Fassi at the Seattle Coffee Co. November in Cape Town feels like June does in the northern hemisphere, making surfing the best option for filling a vacant Sunday. Sheldon (+27 (0) 82 733 23317) picked me up along with two traveling damsels and delivered us to Muizenberg Bay. I drank heaps of salt water, warmed my wet suit from the inside… he he, and discovered I was a natural on the surf board (thanks to Sheldon’s assistance). I am proud to say I caught five full rides on the Indian Ocean’s best waves but was happily exhausted fighting the surf between attempts.

My 200 cc cycle was a perfect companion to the V&A waterfront, ate lunch and did a little shopping. After returning my cycle and taking a nap, I met more friends of Bill W and returned for another Braai. My Malay angel Fatima fired up her hooka with flavored tobacco, showed me alternate ways to play fooze-ball, beat my ass at pool (thank you mam, may I have another), and showed me how Cape Town lights Table Mountain for Christmas (and Ramadan?) from the great heights of the splendidly quaint Malay Quarters. I am currently plotting ways to sneak Fatima into my luggage when I return to the UK on the 28^th.

November 27^th began with a little I Spy drama. Ross (part of the US blotto clan we assembled here at the backpackers) woke me up to tell me Rob Webster never came home last night after he was mugged of his wallet and passport. I have my fingers crossed hoping he’ll return soon with a tale of coyote-ugly or something as embarrassing. Drunken disappearances are well practiced arts in the world of backpackers and are almost always the result of beer-goggle blessings. But with the loss of our friend Uriel, I no longer enjoy the delusion of a safe and peaceful world.

UPDATE: Ross wins an Oscar for his dramatic role in “Where’s Waldo” starring Rob Webster.

Rob waltzed into Carnival Court just before noon with that look on his face. As I called it, another coyote ugly tale. Everyone’s fine if not a little embarrassed. Welcome back Rob, nice expression, ARRR – OOOH!

The Blatto Clan was united again so we braved the “Scary” streets of Cape Town and hired a car. Right hand driving was a blast, it felt like the world was turned inside out. I drove the debaucherous posse 15 miles outside of Cape Town to the Tukai National Forest for my next adventure. There was only one mountain bike for rent but there was only one me, so no trouble there. The remaining three musketeers aired out their hangovers at Cape Point while I tackled some technical mountain biking trails. I’m not sure what my bicycle helmet was protecting but it came in handy more than once.

November 28 - 29

28^th November arrived faster than I ever hoped it would. My last day in South Africa begged for a safari of sorts. The clan sprung up from the dead at 5am and was greeted by the wonderfully cheerful homeless child affectionately referred to as street rat. He was the one who tried to snatch Rob’s wallette two nights prior and punched a girl in the face when she tried to assist Rob. He brazenly confronted us but somehow escorted us unmolested.

We journeyed two and a half hours to Aquila Private Reserve which promised us a Big Five Safari. The currency in South Africa is called the Rand and comes in denominations of 10, 20, 50 and 100 and 200 Rand notes, each with a different picture of big game. The “Big Five” are game that were hunted in Africa and caused the most hunter deaths as they were pursued. They consist of the lion, elephant, buffalo, leopard and black rhinoceros. The big five are among the most dangerous mammals.

Our Big Five were very polite and hospitable as the safari was more a petting zoo than an adventure. That being said, the food was delicious, the journey flavored with local color and the company was spot on, so it was an acceptable afternoon. I would highly recommend other travelers to make the trip to Kruger reserve if they have the time.

Now it was time to make the journey home. I was not expecting the feeling of LEAVING home on the day I was to return there. My friends at Carnival Court had secretly adopted me and gave me an informal going away gathering. When I arrived in Cape Town all I knew was that I was hungry and tired.

My friends Sunelle, Charel, Jacob, Sheldon, Fatima, Colleen, David and the other names destined to be misspelled made sure I enjoyed one of the best adventures of my life. In all my travels I have not met a concierge service nor travel agency that compared to the service and charm of these Court Carnies. (Carnival Court, Long Street 225, Cape Town 8001, South Africa, Tel: +27 21 423 9003, e-mail: info@carnivalcourt.co.za)

I was safely delivered to the Airport by Fatima, Rob and Ross, where I discovered the adventure was not quite over...

I still had to collect a “Vast” bag stowed with a friend in London, it’s contents required for the bone chilling -11c waiting for me upon my arrival. Master James was on point and willing to assist me in any way he could. Bravo! Hommie needed the help. I was due to arrive at Heathrow at 9am and fly State-side at noon. No big deal until James pointed out I was leaving form Gatwick. JOY!

Long story short, after getting some local backup should I become stranded in London (thank you Collin and your fantastic companion who’s name escapes me… please leave comment so I can correct her name please), I was met by Ambassador James, vast bag in hand. And was delivered to Gatwick via bus with enough time to eat one last meat pie!

True Adventures of Kaiser Clark: True North

2006-10-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

I am in Europe working on a film entitled TRUE NORTH. Items on this site will show some behind the scenes stuff but mostly just my personal experience.

This show will be filming in Norway and London. Being from Minnesota I have an edge on cold weather (I hope).

Locate Istanbul , Tromso and Svalbard on the Globe picture to follow my adventure.

My trip so far:

August 24 – August 27

Istanbul, Turkey

On Aug. 24th I flew to Istanbul, Turkey to accompany friends to the Turkish Grand Prix. We were guests of Scuderia Ferrari (the F-1 Racing team). For us yankees, F-1 is formula one racing and is the most watched sport in the world second only to soccer (football).

First we saw old Constantinople on foot. That evening we attended a huge F-1 party where I escorted Michael Schumacher (Schumi) and shielded him from the public and press. Missy Eliot headlined the show that began with belly dancers and all kinds of fun. It was hilarious because the crowd didn’t understand a word she was saying and never cheered.

Michael Schumacher is the most successful race car driver ever and is the second highest paid athlete after Tiger Woods, so escorting him was something special.

Next on Aug. 25th we flew a helicopter to the F-1 track and got fantastic views of old Constantinople while en route. Ferrari qualified first and second (qualifying is competing for starting position), with Felipe Massa (from Brazil) earning his first pole position and Schumi right behind him. I dined with Schumi again that night.

Arriving by helicopter again, we watched the Grand Prix from the Ferrari Pit on Aug. 26. Those cars are so loud they resonate in your whole body, making your nose run. Massa earned his first Grand Prix win and Schumi finished third because of a mistake coming out of the pit. That night I flew with the team to Bologna Italy and was hosted by Ferrari.

August 27 – August 28

Bologna & Milan, Italy – Oslo & Tromso, Norway

The next day Aug. 27 we flew another private helicopter to Milan and connected to our flight to Oslo.

We arrived in Tromso on Aug. 28 and began preparing for the film.

Pre-production Rehearsals Week 1

August 29 – September 1

Tromso Norway

In Tromso we attended film rehearsal and set up an office.

September 1 – September 2

Film Camp near bardufoss, Norway

The night before a Norwegian Nome stole my car keys, setting me up for an awkward morning retrieving new ones when the rental place opened.

For preparation we attended a training camp of sorts about an hour and a half drive south. There was training in shooting rifles, roping, herding and butchering reindeer.

Instruction came from a Sámi person (the aboriginal people of northern Scandinavia) named Tomas. He's the short guy with the knife. My god was he blunt and hilariously to the point. The Sámi are causation natives who herd reindeer and live in the Lapland region. They have slightly different features, flatter noses and pronounced cheek bones but all us whities look the same to me.

Tomas had me pretend to be a reindeer so my friend could practice lassoing as the photo shows. I also ate raw bone marrow and did other disgusting stuff like that, though I got worried about blood borne pathogens.

That night we saw a fantastic display of the Aurora Borealis.

Tromso is possibly the best place in the world to view the northern lights as there is a band that circles a certain latitude and concentrates right above Tromso. I've included a picture showing this.

September 3

Tromso Norway, Fjord fishing

On September 3rd we had a day off and took in some fishing in the fjords. We saw some wild reindeer on the drive home but did not have any luck with the fishing.

Uriel Noriega was murdered in Los Angeles

I heard word from Los Angeles that a friend of mine (a friend of Bill's) Uriel Noriega was murdered by a person he was helping with recovery. He was shot twice in the head and seven times in his body while waiting for an AA meeting to start. He was murdered by Scott Reynolds. Uriel tried to help Scott recover from Meth addiction but Scott returned to his drugs. Uriel obtained a restraining order on Scott for good reason. Uriel was 36 and had several years of sobriety. He was a very gentle and kind person. I will miss him.

Pre-production Rehearsal Week 2

September 4

Film Camp near bardufoss, Norway

We returned to film camp for training in dog sledding and wardrobe fittings. As can be expected, I was harnessed for some mushing myself!

I am learning so much! I learned what happens when you put gasoline into a diesel engine. WOW I’m an Einstein. The car goes Zoom, Putter Putter Putter Wheeze…. Kurplutz! In all honesty, I was thinking about the murder and my head wasn’t in the game.

I have today and tomorrow to organize things for the ship in Svalbard while my friend does ADR (audio digital recording) in London for the Danny Boyle film SUNSHINE. Wow that was a great script and he is my favorite contemporary director. Even so, I need the time to organize for a month near the pole.

On Friday we will fly to Svalbard, which is an archipelago just south of the north pole. We will board a ship called POLARIS and live on it for a month while we are filming on glaciers. Svalbard is so far north we will have to look into the southern skies to see the northern lights.

Production Week 1

September 10 - 16

Svalbard (Spritzberg), Norway

We flew an hour and a half to Longyearbyen, the main city in Svalbard Norway. After shooting the first week we get to vacation here for a day. Longyearbyen makes the Iron Range of Minnesota look like the South of France. It’s a pit… literally a coal mine coal dust covered pit. There are no trees, a few birds and people, polar bears (none sighted yet) and lots of wind. But being permafrost what could one expect?

After arriving we boarded the Polaris, a Russian Class A cruiser. I moved M. into the best cabin on the ship right next to the Capitan’s quarters. There was enough space to fit all her things and some of mine as well. Then I had the delightful task of jamming all of my things beneath a bunk bed and into a foot locker. The crew are all sharing rooms and I am roomed with the Unit Photographer or still photographer in a room smaller than my first dorm room.

The still photographer takes still photos while shooting, which are then used for publicity, key art (promotional posters), “The makings of”, (and placemats for breakfast if the photos are particularly bad).

We departed the same night we arrive, sailing for location where we will be shooting the next few weeks. I got a little sea sick before we even left port, but recovered rapidly.

The first location is referred to as Temple Mountain. Temple Mountain is absolutely beautiful. Again there are no trees, only rock, drift wood and bones, but the colors are ridiculous! The sun changes the landscape into new worlds hourly. The main mountain is majestic with a scar that resembles to people and an angel. The opposite is a glacier which glows blue and sends a bitter wind to torment us.

We have not seen any northern lights just yet because the sun’s glow never fades to reveal the stars. But the sunset lasts from an hour and a half to two hours. Once we were treated to a tall-ship’s arrival at dusk.

All this week we have filmed on a beach which is protected by the sea and mountain. The polar bears are a real danger so we have from five to seven scouts with rifles watching for them. Several of our Logistics Polar Bear guards are cute Scandies! I’m feeling very safe already!

Our new friends are very exciting. As honored guests, we are treated to the company of explorer Jason Roberts. Check out his imdb.com credits. Jason has worked closely with the BBC and has logged over 58 trips to Antarctica. When M. asked him what his next adventure would be, he said in all seriousness that he would like to see the northern lights from outer space. He has seriously seen and done it all. Eating with him is difficult sometimes as my stomach is always in a tight laughter knot from his anecdotes about bears, ice and snow.

The weather is already harsh though it is barely below freezing. We have enjoyed 50 mile/hr winds, meter high waves (really fun to ride the Zodiac boats in them) and sleet. When the sea is calmer I hope to take some photos of the Beluga and Orca populations that surround us. We will eventually come across a bear as there are more bears than people, but I have the cute Scandies to protect my yankee ass.

Because we work 6 days a week and only have one day on land, my blog will not be updated more than once a week. I hope all are well and healthy. Thank you for viewing my blog and send warm thoughts to the top of the world.

Production Week 2

September 17 - 24

Svalbard (Spritzberg), Norway

On our last day off last week we took a tour of a working mine. We rode five miles into a mountain lying on our backs while riding a Uherman car. The Uherman car was especially built for mine transportation, has no electrical components to ignite the methane (coal is compressed vegetation or old peat bogs and releases methane gas that is trapped inside of it when mined, methane is very explosive) starts with air pressure instead of an igniter, and stands about three and a half feet high. Passengers must lie down while riding because the mine tunnels are very short, the clearance while lying down was at best a foot and at worst three inches... the car had guardrails so just make sure you don't sit up above the rails. Our driver was way too enthusiastic to provide adequate safety, plowed into an underground river splashing us, rear ended another Uherman driving too slow, and even scraped the guardrail as we were airborne from jumping a bump. I don’t believe my survival instincts are properly working... I was perfectly relaxed, sleepy even while screaming down these tunnels on my back. At one point I was thinking this is really fun, like Space Mountain except without rails. Then I thought without rails doesn’t equate to without mortal risk. Still in one piece and smiling.

This past week was very cold and we finally got great shots of the snow. The crew has all become familiar with each other, partnerships have formed and couples have assembled and re-assorted themselves.

So far we have seen many wild seals, reindeer and a white fox. I found myself feeling a little isolated from the rest of the crew and not very useful, so yesterday I volunteered to help the crew disassemble our base camp. Now I am better and am and feel I’m a respected contributing crew member. We are moving locations tomorrow to a living and a dead glacier.

M. has been receiving shipments of meats, cheeses, wine and fresh vegetables from Italy. Wow green beans never tasted so good. Out chief tries his best but besides the ice nothing comes fresh, only frozen. Each evening we pass around a huge wedge of parmesan for the entire crew and host a terrific spread of meats, cheeses and bread sticks at our table.

The crew is quite the international mix consisting of over 17 nationalities. I am one of two Americans. My roommate is a lifelong professional photographer and has toured with several famous bands. I get a kick at throwing him band names to hear his personal anecdotes about them. His father is a particle physicist who was a member of the Nobel Prize winning team who discovered quarks (sub-atomic particles that boggle the mind, time and space).

Last night we returned to a snow covered Longyearbyen. Thank god for that because without it, the town resembles a charred scabbed wasteland. I stayed out until 4:30 am and am wondering if it was worth it today.

Production Week 3

September 25 - 30

Svalbard (Spritzberg), Norway

This week was the most enjoyable of all so far. Last week I was fortunate enough to get the blog updated with pictures and enjoyed a Thai meal compliments of my friend. It only took the ship two weeks to get used to me (most of you know I’m an acquired taste), but now that they have I am having a ball. I am tightest with an Ulsterman named Andrew and together we make the tweedle dumb and dumber pair.

On Monday we shot scenes where the actors were in small boats, giving me the opportunity to do some manual labor on shore. There were fresh polar bear tracks but no bears to greet us ashore. I love to work like a mule but was having so much fun I neglected my friend. Sorry about that.

We were in the territory where a brilliant blue glacier glowed. The winds kicked up and we had the most dangerous ride yet. We all got sopped by waves and laughed the whole way back.

Glaciers that are alive are ones that are moving, expanding and contracting. They have a bright blue color as much of the oxygen becomes compressed out, just like de-oxygenated blood. Dead glaciers are basically solid still blocks of ice and no longer sculpt the land. Their color is a dirty black brown ice.

When we were loading up the actors onto the boats on Sunday morning we experienced our first glacier calving. When a live glacier is heated by the sun the ice contracts, and then expands again in the night as temperatures cool. When this happens great faults are created near the edge and occasionally pop or break under their own weight. This is called calving and is accompanied by the sound of a thunder crash. When the huge ice chunks fall they create huge waves that wash ashore. We had to scurry to rescue our gear from the coming waves. This calving can take place as frequently as ever thirty minutes in the right conditions.

The following day we shot on land and eventually on my first living glacier. We had a 45mn hike to this location but it was worth every step. I had a fantastic day with my crampons (fiercely sharp ice cleats attached to boots for mountaineering) but found ice was easier to climb then to descend. When we returned for our zodiac trip back we discovered the bay that was clear in the morning was all iced over and blocked our passage. We managed to navigate our way through a maze of icebergs and returned safely.

Sean Bean left the ship and will join us in London for studio shooting. On his last night I donned a balaclava and jokingly robbed him of his squirt cheese. He just laughed knowing it must have been me behind the IRA mask.

The very next morning the tide had cleared all the bergs and we shot below the glacier we were on the day before. It was so sunny and warm (just above freezing) with no wind. Yesterday we did pick-up shots with the actors on the little boats again and I was invited to hump on shore.

I overloaded a bag carrying equipment to be loaded by the boats crane and it took three of us to load it onto the zodiac. In the process of loading I had one foot on shore and another on the raft… and the raft began to drift out to see. There I was trying to keep the boat there while holding a few hundred pounds of gear and I ended up showing the crew how to do the splits. For my next act I worked it the front hold of the ship unloading the crane. One of the grips was off loading an articulating camera head that weighs 45lbs. and it slipped out of his hands and my reactions spared me broken bones and the like but gave me one hell of a sore shoulder. So I ended up getting my rugby workout after all this week.

Last night the Polaris unloaded us carnies and we took the circus into town again. My friends had a head start and were beyond conversation by 2 am, so I made it an early night. Today my friend and I were to tour the fjords via helicopter but there were repairs needed. I’m not in the mood to go down like a stone falling from heaven today.

Tomorrow we will be filming on another glacier which will include the coldest weather on the trip. My days of adventure have kept me from missing Minnesota but not all my friends and especially my family. Next week my blog should become regularly updated as internet access will be easier. Receive my warm thoughts from this cold wasteland.

October 1 - 7

Svalbard (Spritzberg), Norway

Then back to Tromso, Norway

We set off for the new glacier Svea Saturday night. The weather sent us some beautiful snow in Longyearbyen. It felt like an early Christmas and all was quiet. It was a nice gesture but Mother Nature never gives gifts for free.

Our week began on Sunday with the long ordeal of loading Ski-Do’s (snowmobiles) onto our zodiac boats and shipping them to land (ice actually). One Ski-Do punctured a zodiac offloading and added an extra challenge to our preparations.

The crew was transported to the top of the glacier by Ski-Do and a ski cart-trailer. Every day began with an amusement park ride. The snow the night before made the terrain more dangerous because this glacier was striped with huge crevasses that were just waiting for you to take that fatal step. We were only allowed on designated trails and NO ONE WONDERED OFF THEM. You never knew if that lovely snow was in league with the hidden crevasse, plotting for your demise.

The first three days spared us the worst of the cold. In the winter when you have overcast skies (like we did the first three days), the cloud cover acts like a roof keeping in warmer air. When skies are clear all the warm air (every things relative, not actually warm) rises and you feel the bone chill of the arctic in full splendor. These same cloudy skies caused beautiful sunsets that rivaled those of our first week.

We were lucky enough to get a quick boat ride up close to the glacial face. This can be risky incase a calving takes place. You could not only be crushed by ice but drowned by the huge waves. This all makes it all that more fun. The dark blue stripes represent different periods in time, much like the rings on trees. Some colors are very dark because instead of being frozen compressed snow, the ice melts into water then refreeze. Ice cores are drilled and analyzed to discover what our atmosphere was like thousands and millions of years ago. This makes sense because the falling snow traps in air from the atmosphere and preserves the gasses.

We were also visited by a curious seal on our adventure. The clear ice block near the seal is not your average ice berg. This one is made from frozen water vs. snow, and can really cause trouble when boating if there are any waves... you can't see them like regular ice bergs.

Being on such a high frozen plateau it was only a matter of time before vicious winds visited. Thursday was our trial by cold. Staying comfortable and safe in sub zero temperatures can be very tricky. The worst thing that can happen to you is you perspire. This is so dangerous because once you stop moving you are wet, and your core temperature can drop suddenly. In addition to this, your body burns a lot more calories trying to stay warm. This vicious combination can catch you suddenly and it is very easy to pass out / faint. The best thing to do is to warm up in a dry tent and eat something. But atop a glacier with limited sunlight to shoot with can make this very difficult.

Rumor has it that a few B camera crew spotted a polar bear. I believe it was Ingrid from locations who actually spotted it but since I missed the sighting I believe it to be B.S. (yes I’m a bit jealous).

Our ship returned to Longyearbyen on Thursday night and we were all treated to a great meal. Living in such close quarters under such rough conditions can create a pressure cooker but surprisingly everyone got along and laughed a lot. This fact really speaks testimony to how positive, supportive and fun our crew really is. In my few years in film production I have never worked with more fun and friendly people. If you can believe it, on our last night we all stayed on the ship.

We off loaded our belongings and took a flight back to Tromso yesterday. It is really weird being back on mainland, having your own room and delicious food in all varieties. I hope to keep this blog updated but things are really busy and I think internet connection will be questionable so we'll have to see.

Production Week 5, 6 & 7

Filmcamp, Overbygd, Norway

October 8-31

John Lennon defined life as what happens when you are busy making other plans. At times my life’s adventure feels like a moving train passing through space and time on its own accord. My role is to sit back and take it all in while trying to accomplish my daily chores. I can’t believe our Norwegian portion is over already.

Our time at Filmcamp has come to an end. Everyone feels the loss of new friendships as we move to London with a reduced crew. The crew became more like a family, sculpted into a brotherhood by long cold days, fierce weather, “interesting” food and a tight schedule. This film already brings a smile to my face as the tribulations contrast our pleasures, making them more brilliant! Our Scandinavian crew will be truly missed.

Filmcamp Week 1 (October 8-15)

We arrived in Overbygd after two full days off in Tromso. It seemed very strange to have the space and privacy that was lacking aboard the Polaris. It took some of us a full week to adapt to our new accommodations. The crew was housed in four different locations, a large military barracks, an officer’s barracks, a block of three bedroom apartments, and a small hotel above Overbygd’s pub.

Once on set it was back to doing what ever needed to be done to make our day. We started shooting 45 minutes away from filmcamp in a boggy area tucked away high in the mountains. The weather changed daily but finally settled on making us miserable with cold heavy rain. Wet, cold, miserable rain! Oh, you poor poor Brits. We finally got a little snow on Saturday giving us a little boost of spirits for our day off.

We discovered the local gym which houses a rock climbing wall. Several of our crew were so used to heavy physical exercise in the harsh environment that after dinner we needed some work-outs. Matt, Asif, Jack, Ahmed and several other limies owned the football field. After climbing with my friend I was lured onto the football pitch. As soon as I saw the ball and gave chase I was reprimanded for rough play. Apparently you are not supposed to slide tackle your teammates. English football is not like American football, so after trying not to slide tackle anymore I realized I should give it up and stick to rugby. Sorry Rubin and Asif.

Filmcamp received an honored guest on Sunday. The Formula One Ferrari hero arrived, giving the crew a chance to thank him in person for all the food from Italy and France. His cheese, meats, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, wine and many other delectables played a major role in keeping the Polaris happily afloat. And he had one more trick up his sleeve… he kidnapped a French chief Vincenzo!

With her apartment finally in working order, my friend continued her hospitality by hosting twelve lucky crew members to a home cooked meal. Bravo!

Filmcamp Week 2 (October 16 – 23)

The second week shooting on solid Norwegian ground began on a mountain-framed lake. Another guest of honor arrived, Tim Miller, Asif’s co-writer! He immediately charmed his way into a tight knit unit and became one of us. The snow receded but mother nature substituted it with wind. It was a little cold but dry. Anyone can handle cold if it’s dry. On this location we were on boats, in the forest, threw someone in the freezing lake, and hired Scuba Dan to be a human ice-breaker.

Whilst the department heads were on the river, us second classer’s entertained ourselves with umbrella races. Thee people hold an umbrella to their forehead, spin in a circle ten times while looking at the ground then race to there and back. I finally got my full contact sport as being so dizzy we knocked each other over like dominoes.

This week the moon was waning, allowing the dark sky to showcase some fantastic auroras. The sun rotated and exposed the earth to some very large sunspots, producing excellent Aurora Borealis and Aurora Australis on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

On Saturday we moved locations again and filmed deep within a mountain valley. We were here only one day but it had snowed heavily all night and all day, so it was very memorable. It reminded me of snow-days from childhood where the snow closes schools early and let’s all us kids discover the wonder of deep quiet magical winter. I didn’t make any snow forts or go sledding, but hell yes snow balls were thrown. Thank you for the whitewash down my back Kerstin!

That night my friend and I drove to Tromso through heavy snow while the aurora played hide and seek behind the curtains of snow. The following day we again hustled through the driving snow for good reason. Below the officers barracks our Ulsterman Andy discovered gold in the form of a private bar and the Formula One season finale in Brazil was on. My friend phoned her friend at Ferrari and we saw him reaching for the phone on T.V. but the camera angle switched before he answered.

The race did not earn Ferrari the Driver’s nor the Constructor’s championship but it was the best performance I have seen out of our road-rocket-scientists. The young protégé from Brazil Felipe Massa lead the pack earning him the first prize in his home country. Schumi, the Driving Adonis raced his last race and really showed the world just how good he is. Starting tenth he worked up to sixth place when foul fortune destroyed one of his tires. He drove an entire lap with only three tires and pitted. Returning to the track in last place he fought his way past everyone until he ran out of laps, finishing fourth, just seconds behind a proper podium finish. I know only a win would satisfy team Schumi, but I’d be hard pressed to find a disappointed fan.

Filmcamp Week 3 and 1/6th (October 23 – 30)

Our final seven days of shooting in Norway were snow filled. We moved to a location where we worked with a small portion of a reindeer herd. There is a saying in the film industry "Never write a script with children or animals in it", as both are not very direct-able.

This week in addition to shooting we were also in the process of wrapping up strong friendships. Though dusk was approaching these friendships, dawn arrived with a few last minute friends. We attended a traditional Sámi dinner of stewed reindeer and heaps of atmospheric smoke inside an over crowded tent. It seems we could not get enough of close quarters, having learned that tight proximity often leads to joyful exchanges.

By the time the week was over and we finished our packing for London we had been sculpted lean by -18C, hoisted pints to brotherly love and felt a part of the frozen landscape. Though our film will preserve some of the most outstanding scenes of winter ever captured, the life shared by those who cooperated in the crafting of this film will remain only in our reverie. The silence of winter gave me pause as I boarded the plane for London. We now return back to the world of concrete jungles, fantastic variety of life and private struggles. I am forever changed.

LONDON

Death By Stage

Our scaled down lonesome crew arrived lean and mean for what could only be considered an easy end… filming inside a heated sound stage in the world’s city, London. That was a miss calculation. The filming portion seemed to go fine. The lack of stimulation however, tormented my friends and I. Two weeks of being quiet after two months of grueling exposure and being on guard for killer bears seemed, well unbearable.

Several Scandies visited us from the great white north, one was mugged but recovered his bag. We shot in Twickenham film studios where I had the pleasure of missing two International Rugby Tests (international matches) that were being played no more than a mile away. Twickenham Rugby Stadium is one of the best places in the world to see rugby, a place I’ve longed to go to. And I was there, just on a sound stage. Okay, no more whining, I know its boring to most of you.

Moments of note… I enjoyed fantastic hospitality by the writer Tim, got stranded trying to meet up with friends when the tube system closed (eventually met them after two busses and a rickshaw ride), literally bumped into Jude Law outside of our stage (I’ve worked 2 films with him previously), was visited by our Ferrari Hero (affectionately known as The Pope), assisted my friend with the London premier of the new James Bond installment Casino Royale, ended up running errands in a chauffeured Ferrari and Masaratti, looked for work in the UK via some celebs I’ve worked with before (no luck), and thought about friends, family, Norway and South Africa!